Why You're Perfect

Being 21, young, dumb, naive- you know, everything that I "am" by being 21 I understand that you'll be judged.

I mean, really, I know.

Because I've experienced it firsthand. 

Over and over again I've heard how ridiculously I live my life. After all I got married SO young, threw away all of my youth and happiness for nothing. And ugh, I'll never have sex with ANYONE else ever again. How do I not understand how terrible of a thing this is?

I have no understanding of how the "real" world is because I've yet to experience it. I think I know everything. And strangers KNOW this about me. It's so lovely.

And then comes, the, "You have HOW many jobs?" I know, I've covered this before here. But seriously, it's a never-ending-judgmental battle I'm fighting here.

Thankfully, I'm not alone.

In fact, each of you are right there with me. Perhaps our circumstances are a bit different in one way or another.

But that's what makes life BEAUTIFUL

It's what makes you beautiful, unique, different and yet so interesting to me.

We're each so different. Individuals. Beautiful, perfect people. Just the way we are.

We each have days of ugly, rude, judgement and hatred but we're only human.

Our flaws don't define us. 

In fact, those mistakes you've made should be used to build and shape a better you.

It's time to start loving yourself. The way friends, families and animals (mostly animals) love you.

Feel good in the skin you're in and embrace each and every flaw you carry because you are perfect just the way you are. Each and every one of you. 

Just feeling a little inspirational & happy today. Loving life for the first Monday in awhile. Life is good, even when it's bad. And you're all perfect, even when you don't feel that way.

Xoxo,

   B!

The Perfect Size 0

I'll be the FIRST to tell you that today, in America, we have an issue with overweight and obesity.

In fact, about 3/4 of our population is currently either overweight or obese and America is the ONLY country in the world who has a scale for morbid obesity.

This is a problem.

And still, I'll be the first to tell you that our country struggles with eating disorders. I personally blame a lot of this on media (especially social).

Eating disorders ARE a mental illness. But through work and therapy they can be reversed and lives can be saved. 

This is a problem.

But what if I told you that in the past 2 years-ish or so that I've gone from wearing a size 0/1 to a size 5? 

Immediately I'm sure you're thinking, "Wow! She's gained a lot of weight."

And what if I told you that I, in fact, haven't gained a single pound. 

Now I'll let you you, every word of this is true.

Don't get me wrong Target is my FAVORITE store of probably ever. They have the most adorable home goods, clothes and decorative style hands down.

However, about 3 months ago I wanted to get some of their shorts when they were B1G1 50% off- because that's a super great deal. I was sort of in a hurry, so I grabbed a size 1 and a size 3 and ran back to the dressing room. The size 1's wouldn't go past my thighs. And the size 3's got all the way up but wouldn't button up without extreme-muffin-toppage.

And by simply looking at the size 5's I thought there was NO possible way they would fit, they looked huge.

When my mom came into town to visit she brought some shorts and we sort of swapped out with each other choosing some that fit the other better (you get the point). And she had a ton of Target shorts that were size 5.

 If you know my mother at all she is extremely tiny. She's about 5'4" and 105 lb. and she was wearing a size 5?

You can understand my puzzlement I'm sure. So I asked her to try them on, since they fit her so well (some how). And sure enough they fit. Perfectly, in fact. 

And as we continue looking through her clothes she pulls out a very large pair of shorts. I tried them on and they were much longer than the others and much more loose around the waist than all of the others. So I decide to look at the brand and size, just to see if maybe they were a size, oh 7 or so.

I glanced. I looked again. Mossimo: Size 2. Practically falling off of my waist.

I suddenly couldn't even speak. I got it. Right then and there I understood the exact reason our country is suffering from so many eating issues. Over-eating, under-eating, binge-eating, purging. I got it. 

I don't blame Target for this, because I know that they aren't alone. But something terrible is happening. How can it be that in only 2 years a company can change their scale to a 4-5x SMALLER scale. Does this not terrify anyone else?

And how are we supposed to stick together and encourage others that they are at a healthy weight and do not need to lose weight when a size 2 (2 years ago) is now wearing a size 7-9?

I can't even imagine the pain. I know that I'm tiny, I always have been. But for those women and men who do not know that they are tiny, or normal, this could be a horrible thing. I felt worried that I was gaining weight once I realized I had jumped up 5 sizes. And as I stepped on a scale for the first time in a few months, nothing had changed.

So here I am, 5'5" weighing 108 lb. (underweight technically) collecting clothes in my closet from sizes 00 (American Eagle) up to a size 5 (Mossimo). 

I have no conclusion for this story. I only know that I have an issue with what is happening.

Perhaps it's time that we come up with a world policy of sizing. 26" waist= size whatever. World wide. End of story.

Or maybe we should focus a little less on the size. Maybe, like guy jeans, we should focus on the seams. Inches in waist, inches in length and call it a day.

Wanting to be the "perfect" size 0 has become an issue. Let's not focus on our size of pants, but instead of the way we feel inside. Let's focus on feeling healthy, happy and balanced in life.

Maybe, just maybe this could be the start to a happier and healthier United States

.

Xoxo,

   B

What butterflies & unicorns?

Just when things feel like they'll start to look up, a turn for the worst is most common. I'm currently in desperate need of good vibes/prayer/extra thoughts today. 

Only a couple of weeks ago my grandma Sue (my dad's ex-step-mom) passed away. It sounds bizarre but she was a huge part of my childhood and we've never lost contact until the past year when she became very ill and could not longer use the phone or her laptop.

 Earlier last week my great-grandma (my closest family member besides my immediate family)  fell and broke her arm badly. Surgery went well on Friday and she was holding strong when she suddenly loss heartbeat on Saturday. The doctors were able to save her, but she was put on a vent only to be fine once more and taken off the vent later that day. Only a few hours later she again lost heartbeat only this time they could not save her- she passed away on Sunday. 

Both of these women were very dear to me and it's extra difficult not being home to say goodbye or celebrate their lives the way I'd like. 

 I took yesterday off for a day to myself to sort of reflect and just feel for once. Jordan and I spent the day together laughing, smiling and simply loving each other. It's so rare that I have time to do these things. 

I was extremely overwhelmed by missing a school day but figured that at this point what will happen will happen (I still didn't know how I did on my midterm last week since I missed yesterday).

This morning as I awoke for school I felt horribly ill. My anxiety has been terrible since yesterday evening and knowing I had a quiz to make up today did not help. As I go to leave I cannot find my car keys. But I remember. I had left them in Jordan's car on Saturday and not since seen them. You got it- I left them in his car. Which was located on base (about 45 minutes away), but being the sweet heart that he is he drove all the way home just to bring me my keys.

But now I'm late to class. Which almost worked out well? I missed the quiz that I knew I'd do poorly on, so not so bad. And we don't make up quizzes, yay!!!

But on my way home, I have a feeling something is wrong. Not sure if my head is hurting so bad that I think I'm swerving or WHAT is going on. Well? About 10 minutes later my tire blows. On the interstate. And I completely lose it.

I'm talking I cried for an hour straight while I was on the phone with my hubby, my insurance company, roadside assistance and the entire time a Road Ranger (thank goodness for these guys!) worked on and put on my spare.

But now I'm home. I showered, and cried some more. Finished my errands on the way home. I have work tonight, but a day off tomorrow. I'm still feeling SO overwhelmed with everything in life. But everything will be okay. It always is. I'm still so thankful for the things I do have, and it could be much worse I'm sure, but we all have our lows and this is mine for now.

For today though, what butterflies and unicorns? There are none in sight. But tomorrow, just maybe tomorrow the sun will shine and the butterflies will fly- not sure about those unicorns though.

Xoxo,

   B

TLC

Most recently (okay, at least a month now) I've been working on a HUGE home project. A bit of a DYI you may call it. 

I've been visiting the Dollar Tree lately (2 different stores) simply waiting for them to get the right reminaing picture frames I've needed. After about a month of searching I decided today to drive about 20 minutes away from anything I ever go to and check out a different Dollar Tree.

Best decision ever! I found the final frames I've been looking for and FINALLY finished my project.

Well, for the most part.

I know they definitely need leveled out- but no time for that today. Hopefully tomorrow I can post an updated photo with all of them tidy and straight.

Eeeeeks, so excited. 

I think it turned out pretty good! I didn't plan any of the hanging just went to work and finished in about 45 minutes. Please let me know what you think (even if you hate it) I just want some honest feedback (:

Yay to giving your home a little TLC <3

Xoxo,

   B!

Patio Set Up & Ready to be (Re)Viewed!

Soooo happy to announce (it's important, listen)- my patio set arrived, it took a few days, but we got it together and it is absolutely A D O R A B L E <3

It arrived last Wednesday, and by Thursday night 3 chairs and the table were together. But Jordan really hurt his back doing all that work for me.

So then, my mom arrived on Friday and she just left on Monday morning (miss her already!) but on the following Friday morning (last week) we sat together and finished putting the set together.

And then, I was still on vacation so there was no way I was taking time to get on here and post pictures or a review.

But it's together and I LOVE IT! And I got it for SO cheap!

I searched all summer for a new patio set, but they were all so, so expensive that I just couldn't bring myself to purchase outside furniture for over $400. Finally, after watching prices all summer I noticed the set had dropped from $599.00 to $400. And as badly as I wanted to buy it then, I waited exactly one week and went back to look at the set. 

To my pleasant surprise, it had dropped to $350!!

For a 7-piece set that was an amazing deal for me (:

& so I immediately bought it online and it was shipped to my house one week later.

I can't deny that I was worried. After all, the photos from online weren't great and I didn't think I liked it as much as I would have liked to. But our old set was left by the previous owners and who knows how long they had it (it was rusting pretty badly).

The day it came I decided to check back to see if it had dropped more on price (hoping not, of course) and to my surprise it was actually completely sold out.

Yay for awesome shopping instincts and GREAT deals!!

Even if I did get the set from Walmart (their website, that is), it is super adorable.

Take a look yourself!

We've had it up for 5 days now and I absolutely LOVE it. There were no reviews online, so I was almost worried. Though, it would have been worse if there were only bad reviews. So thankful we got the set for cheap, that it was rather easy to put together and I LOVE IT.

Xoxo,

   B!