Happiness is Not A Destination

When you were 14 years old and someone asked you where you'd be in 10 year, what would you have said?

If you ask your parents, they will probably have the answer for you.

For me- my answer was always "successful." Still to this day, that's my answer. I'm always so unsure of where life might take me that I never felt comfortable enough to be any more specific than that. Besides, who wants to set limits for themselves?

With the help of the internet and social media market, we have so many resources and opportunities at our finger-tips. Again, for every situation there is an exception (we can't ALL be Dietitians *wink wink*). However, if we really want to accomplish something in life we will find a way to make it happen.

I'll be 23 next month, and as young as I may be considered, I feel like I haven't done enough. There hasn't been enough spontaneous adventures, not enough time playing hookie, not enough time being a teenager, let alone a young adult.

I've spent almost every moment of my life since I was 14 years old, building and building and building. 

There's this ridiculous viscous cycle I find myself running no matter where I am in life, or what I am doing.

"Happiness is not a destination, it is a way of life."

And yet here I am: Blogging, Going to School, Supervised Practice Rotations, Scentsy, Bartending, Distracting, Procrastinating, Worrying, Hiding, Vacation. And it begins all over again.

I'm not a good blogger because I can't consistently stay happy with my life long enough to continue having the time/patience/happiness to continue doing so.

I'm in no way clinically depressed, or in need of any help (I mean, I could use some help... but it would be with catching up on a lot of shit).

I'm just in need of a permanent yes.

I am so ready to stop using up all of my positive energy so quickly, only to find myself on the bottom half of the cycle yet again. Sure, it's short-term and I resume to my normal self. 

The stress of figuring out what the hell I want to be when I grow up is finally here. And still, I HAVE NO IDEA.

When I began school, of course I didn't know. But each year I'd say- "Oh, I don't know, but I'm sure I'll figure it out." Here I am, 1.5 months from finishing school and I'm still clueless. But also anxious. Anxious in a way that I'm excited to start the moving on process, not in the give me a prescription drug way (usually). 

Anyway, I'm writing this because this is kind of where I'm at in life (on the upper, beautiful side, of the vicious cycle). I'm guessing there are others out there, too. Just like me. Falling in circles over, and over again.

Know that you're not alone. Know that happiness is a way of life. If there is something eating you whole, get rid of it today. Start making changes now. Do what makes you happy, what will make your life happy. 

For me -- I'm getting the hell out of dodge for a little bit (that's the plan, at least). And then, I'm going to find a career that I love, and will killllllllllll because I'll be so good.

My goal is this: One more destination to create some happiness, then onto better things. Step 2. Creating a happy way of life. 

Europe from April 5 - May 5 

I could use some help, though. We are looking for any friends/family/kind strangers to donate $5 to our trip. I am only currently working 6 paid shifts a month due to my high-demanding school/supervised practice schedule. If you can, I thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart.

The only thing better than retail therapy is wanderlust therapy.

https://www.gofundme.com/eurotrip16