Learning to Have Fun

It's not that I'm a dull person, I have tons and tons of stories to tell-most of which you wouldn't even believe to be true.

It's not even that I don't enjoy having a good time: sleeping in, drinking casually, doing ridiculous things every once in awhile, breaking the rules occasionally, vacationing, simply doing nothing for the day. 

It comes down to this: I've created such high expectations for myself that I forget to enjoy life sometimes. I need to be a straight A student, who can support herself on one income and still own nice things while doing whatever she wants.

Last week I took off work for 2 days, didn't study for a final exam and took a 6 day vacation (with some work in-between, but still!) that's much over-due. The last time I had a real vacation was when I was 17. I'm 21 years old this year, 21 people! That means that in 4 years I haven't had an entire week (close enough) to simply not caring about reality and enjoying life 100%.

This terrifies me.

I don't wanna be that dull, workaholic who doesn't have fun. That person who literally forgets what it's like to not care, just for a second.

And so I've decided- I'm going to learn to have fun. Starting last week.

I'm back down to 4 jobs, and I've dropped evening shifts from 5 nights a week to 3 nights a week with ZERO closing shifts!

On Sunday I worked a 13 hour shift and so when I awoke Monday morning, needing to get ready for school, I instead sent my teacher a text letting her know I wasn't feeling well and wouldn't be in class that day. It was the first day of a new class, I would normally NEVER do this. But I was tired. And instead of killing myself I decided to take the day off, get some sunshine, write some blogs for you lovely people and enjoy a relaxing day followed by a date-night with my hubby. HOW PERFECT.

I used to love working myself to death, it made me feel so empowered. But since my long vacation, I'm over it. I'm even ready to start my career job- finally. I still have a year and a half left until I graduate but I've never felt more excited to work a Monday-Friday job and have down-time each weekend to spend with my loves (hubby, puppy & kitten). I can't even imagine having 8 days off a month, how lovely! 

Life is so beautiful. It's time I learn to start loving life, living life and breathing laughs.

It's well overdue.

I'm so grateful to be able to change my life whenever I so choose. Perhaps if you find yourself in the same boat, you too will find the words you need to help you start loving life.

Xoxo,

      B!

That White Mustache Man

I'm sure you all remember that story of The Man With The White Mustache, yes? If not, perhaps you need to a refresher or you didn't get a chance to read it. Start here if that's the case: http://averybusyb.blogspot.com/2014/04/the-man-with-white-mustache.html

I remember I felt so much pain for him for that night. Pain for his family, pain for his true friends, but mostly pain for who he was and the decisions he had made. And for about a week after it happened, I continued feeling pain, sorrow and concern as he would cross my mind each day.

Drug overdose is the new "thing." It's happening everywhere, taking many lives and leaving many heartbroken. 

I worried.

What if I never saw him again? Had it been too late? 

Not even a friend of mine, but more of an acquaintance I feared the worst of things for him. Death. 

A couple of weeks passed and I hadn't seen him around. And finally last week I saw him. He was walking around outside, his shirt flipped inside-out, smoking a cigarette- the typical Sunday routine for him.

It was about 3:00 in the afternoon and he finally began making his way towards the bar where I work. He walked in, he was sober. No marijuana, no beers (yet) and apparently no cocaine, thank heavens.

He seemed well. He seemed better today. Perhaps he had no money and so of course he would be sober. I'll really never know.

He sits at the bar, "Hey baby," he says in his scratchy exhausted voice, "Can I get a Budweiser." And so I go, I pour him a nice cold beer and he sits there, sipping his beer, occasionally walking outside to smoke a cigarette, the usual.

But before he leaves he calls for me, "Brittany, come here." And so I go, almost fearful of what he may say. I get some weird things you, know, so I'm pretty much always on edge when people call me over. "Guess what," he says... "I quite." At this point I'm thinking to myself that there is absolutely NO way this guy quit. But it's true. He continued, "You were right. I really don't know what I was thinking and I lost so many friends along the way. Thank you so much for looking out for me. You're a very good lady." For a few moments I just sat there in awe. Literally awe. My heart has probably never felt so happy. Finally, "I'm so proud of you. You're right to have changed your lifestyle, good job name." And he left.

This was last week, and I hadn't dare written about it yet, because drug addiction is no joke. Just because someone says they quit doesn't mean they actually quit. Anyone who has experienced drug addiction first hand or even in the family knows this is true. Just yesterday he came in early in the afternoon, he had a beer (but was sober before) and on his way out the door said he'll be back later. Around 9:00 he came stumbling through the door. Drunk, of course. I began to ask him, "Are you drunk?" He replies, "Yes." "Have you had anything else?" He replies, "No." This is a man of sweet-brags. The guys who thinks drug-dealing, pot-smoking and cocaine-snorting is the "cool thing" to do. And he wouldn't lie to me. 

So yes, he was belligerent drunk, but that was all. And I'm somehow okay with that. After all, this isn't my life we're talking about. It's someone who 4 weeks ago was falling-about sporting a cocaine mustache. How could I not be happy for this guy? 

I'm not saying that my harsh words changed his life, but I am saying that maybe my words were the final words he needed to really fix himself. A stranger from the outside with no input saying, "Hey, you're fucking up." Even if it wasn't me, someone else, there had to a be a point that really makes you go ask yourself what you're doing with your life. I'm just thankful I had enough care for him to stand up and speak out for how I felt. And even more so I'm thankful he listened.

Xoxo,

    B!

Tips for Tipping

After working all weekend: 5-11 Friday night, 4-Close Saturday night & open-close Sunday I'm really starting to take bad tipping personally. Though I know I shouldn't.

In fact, it's so blatantly obvious that people are just unaware of how to tip that I know I shouldn't take it personally. But I do. Why? Because when you don't tip you're messing directly with my income, my livelihood. Get it?

And how is it so obvious that they don't simply hate me, but instead don't understand? Because they'll smile so sweetly and say, "Thank you so much, you were wonderful!" And yet on that $50 total ticket they'll leave me $6. 

As much as I should appreciate the compliment, I immediately don't. I'm just pissed off that they have the nerve to tell me how wonderful I am and then tip me like they hate me. This happened to me so much yesterday that I almost cried.

Slow season is officially here, so my money has already began decreasing PLUS I'm getting terrible tips and people have suddenly turned rude? Not okay, not okay.

So if you're unsure how to tip, please please let me help you!!

• Sometimes you'll get a terrible server. But guess what- everyone has bad days. You never know what's going on with that person.. NEVER leave less than 15%, I'm serious. Of course there's always the exception..  for instance a few weeks ago we were at Applebees. Our server kept bringing us refills and wouldn't clear our table at all, and she wasn't busy at all either. In fact she left our 8 empty cups on the table the entire meal along with our empty plates until we left. And as her other tables began to leave I saw the poor bus boy stuck with all of her stacked-high empty glass and plate filled tables. So I was angry with her and left her 14% (I don't believe in leaving less than $4- that'll come later).
• If you return to a restaurant, have the same server and they suck again.. well no more benefit of the doubt. Tip them shitty, but at least tip them (no less than 10% preferred)
• The newest 2014 tipping standard is 20%. If your server wasn't bad, you got everything you needed and she/he was somewhat friendly, they're probably worth of that 20%.
• 20% tips are easy to figure out WITHOUT the use of a calculator. You take the first two numbers of the check and multiply that by 2! For example if your check is $52.20 20% would be right about $10.40. Another example $34.00 check would be $6.80 (just round up to $7!)
• Welcome to my $4.00 rule. Many people don't understand that servers have assigned sections and usually only have 5-7 tables in their section. If you and your sweet-thang go out to dinner and split a meal creating a total of $10.75 leave a tip as if both of you ordered a meal! They're expecting two meals out of you which gives them a general idea of how much you should spend, plus they have now have lower sales which means less tips!
• COUPONS! If you go to a restaurant and spend $55 but somehow have a Restaurant.com or doubletakeoffers.com coupon receiving half or $25 off of your total YOU TIP BEFORE THE DISCOUNT. That's right. If you spent $55 and you're getting $25 off creating a total of $30 you DO NOT leave $6, you leave $11. Please, I'm begging you. All of us servers together are begging you. And oh yeah, if you haven't looked into those websites you should do so!
• Tips are what we live off of. I won't sit here and say that my paychecks are $0.00 like some people claim (hey, maybe it's true). But after working 25 hours a week my paychecks every 2 weeks are about $120.. if you do the math that is $2.40/hour after claiming tips and taking out taxes.
• Let's talk carry-out really quick. With this I don't request that you necessarily tip 20%. However, at least 10%, ESPECIALLY if you have a large order. Because guess who gets to take the time to put in your order, bag your order and cash you out? That's me! And it's directly affecting my total sales for the shift which in turn creates a less than 20% of total sales take-home at the end of the shift.
• Unless you're positive it's your server's fault something bad happens during your meal (example: you don't receive refills, extra napkins, side condiments, etc.) don't take it out on the server. Anytime I mess something up I'll fess up immediately to the table, and apologize. I never want people to think my cooks aren't doing their job correctly when it's my fault. If then, they decide that the onion that came on their burger was such a huge hassle for the extra 3 minutes they had to wait for a new bun to be made is worth deducting tip from, then so be it. But for me, it's about being honest and making things right. Granted, not everyone is like this. I've worked with people who blame the kitchen 100% of the time, even when it is their fault.

I'm sure a missed a couple of other tips... feel free to leave comments asking questions for other situations. I have ALL of the answers, just kidding.. but I do have a lot!

If you've been tipping poorly it's never too late to change! You just don't wanna be that guy/girl that comes into a restaurant and nobody wants to take you because they already KNOW you tip like shit. Don't be that guy. 

Xoxo,

    B!